Practice makes perfect!

One of the reasons why it is so hard to label or categorize crossdressers is that the experience is unique for each person. Why we crossdress and how we do it are as individual as we are. As you learn more about other crossdressers, you will recognize some common themes in their stories, but once you begin to look inward you enter a place where the only thing crossdressers have in common in the fact that they are unique.

This is neither frigthening nor suprising. As my partner Lori points out somewhere else in this site, how we dress, whether we are crossdressing or not, is a form of self-expression. It's true we have a basic need to be clothed, but dressing extends well beyond that basic need. Crossdressers simply have the advantage of being able to express themselves in many ways, something women have been able to do for many years now.

How we dress is also determined by what we do while we are dressed. For me, going out as Yvonne is something I would like to do more of, so I have to work harder at my appearance. If my outings were limited to club meetings with other crossdressers, I may not feel as strongly the need to pass.

In my mind, there is no "right" or "wrong" way for a crossdresser to look or act, except to say that only you know what is best for you. Crossdressing is closely linked to who we are as people and as such can serve as a guide to better understanding ourselves.

The only blanket statement I'll make is to say that you should experiment with your look. If you can afford it. I enjoy shopping in general, especially for Yvonne, although never, sadly to say, as Yvonne, so I can usually spot a bargan when I see one. Yes, folks, it's true: I never pay retail. Now you know the kind of person I am.

Now where was I....oh yea.

Experimenting means having time and a plan. I usually get to dress no more than twice a week, sometimes only once. If I am planning on going out, then I keep the experimenting to a minimum, if at all. The reason is simple. The biggest obsticle to passing in public is having confidence. People will notice you if you are tense and nervous. When I feel good about how I look, I can relax and enjoy what I am doing. Part of what helps me feel good about my look is following a routine that I know from past experience works.

On the other hand, if I'm planning on staying home, I may try new cosmetics or a new way of applying them. Since the outcome is in doubt, I may not want the pressure of trying to pass. Most likely, I will still look OK, but not be convinced of that. My rule at this stage is if I don't feel comfortable with going out, I don't push it.

Another problem I had was finding clothes I enjoyed wearing that were suitable for public appearances. When I started dressing again in 1996, I never imagined going out, so I indulged in a lot of fetish clothing, and you know what I'm talking about here. When I started shopping for clothes that I could wear out and not draw attention, I bought things that I thought I should wear, rather than things I wanted to wear. I forgot the rule that we use clothing as a form of self expression.

The result was I felt awful wearing the stuff, wasn't comfortable with myself in public and didn't enjoy the dressing experience. So I donated it all to Goodwill. Where, I might add, I found a denim skirt that was perfect for what I wanted. Chalk that one up to Karma.

There are many sources of great information on how to choose and apply makeup, wigs and clothes and how to mimic feminine mannerism. The next few pages will provide links to many of these places. At the same time, I'd like to share some of my own knowlege and experiences.