A Crossdresser's Guide to Fetishwear
The word "fetish" is often used, incorrectly, I might add, in the same sentence as the words "transvestite" and "crossdresser." What we do is often described as a clothing fetish. I think most of us realize this is not the case.
The word fetish has, however, quietly crept into mainstream jargon through another source: the fashion industry. More and more, fetishwear is being found in better department stores. This delightfully ambiguous term is used to describe clothing made from exotic fabrics such as spandex, latex, PVC and leather.
This clothing has, for a long time, been associated with the BDSM community, but in recent years, first spandex and leather and now PVC (patent vinyl cloth) have become almost, how else can I put this, respectable.
Fortunately, fetishwear is more about attitude than fabric content, so if, like me, you have avoided respectability at all costs, then fetishwear is still the way to go.
I have to admit I love this stuff. When I first started crossdressing again, more than three years ago, I never imagined I would be going out in public, so my early attempts at a wardrobe consisted of some serious fetishwear, mostly spandex. Even though I spend most of my time now as Yvonne out of the house, I still keep my eye on the latest trends in fetishwear. But I spend my money more conservatively.
While there is a great deal of variety in fetishwear, there is one common theme: these clothes, no matter what the color, fabric or style, are all very much body conscious. Two words: tight and clingy. Second-skin and just barely at that.
If you don't think of yourself as a hardbody, then don't expect to look like the models in the ads, but don't let that stop you. This stuff is still hot to wear and a lot of fun to play with.
A more vexing problem for crossdressers is what to wear underneath some of these fashions. Many of us require nothing short of aerospace technology to achieve a reasonable female form: padding all round, shaped and molded by cinchers, briefers, nippers and squeezers. Usually all anyone ever sees of us is the last layer of clothing we put on, and the magic of Hollywood, so to speak, is our little secret.
Well, fugeddaboudit.
With some of these fashions, every seam of every undergarment will be in plain view. To a certain point, this can be a little bit sexy, but visible panty line over 90% of your body is not! Fortunately, there are options.
Another problem, even bigger for most of us, is where to wear these fashions. If you live in a large metropolitan area, there are a number of clubs that cater to the BDSM and crossdressing communities, and you will fit in nicely at these venues. Many, in fact, offer a discount on or free cover charge for crossdressers and/or guests dressed in fetishwear.
If, on the other hand, you live in Mayberry RFD, well, that's going to cause some problems. You may have to be happy posing for the camera.
Even if there are no nightclubs in your town, there may still be a BDSM organization. If there's a store in your area that sells fetishwear or bondage gear, they may know how to contact such a group.
Check the personal ads in the alternative newspapers. If there is a professional "Dom" in your area he or she may advertise for clients. You can contact them and see if there are any private parties being held.
The real question is: do you think you can handle it? The BDSM community may be even more looked down on and shunned than even the crossdressing community, and I know many crossdressers who don't think twice about being judgmental. For myself, I have found members of the BDSM community to be very accepting of me, and I have no cause whatsoever to feel otherwise towards them.
I've attended several parties over the past year at which participants have acted out their desires and fantasies to be restrained, punished, humiliated and hurt. I have never witnessed any non-consensual act take place. I have always seen limits respected. I have always seen people enjoy themselves.
Not everything I've seen is suitable for me and the way I enjoy myself, but that doesn't make it wrong for everyone. Why do I attend? I've met some people whose company I enjoy, and my crossdressing is accepted. People are comfortable with me and I with them. And I love a good party! In the same vein, you may ask rhetorically why so many heterosexual crossdressers attend gay and lesbian functions or frequent gay and lesbian bars?
So let's assume you want to do a little strutting, and you have a place to go. What do you wear?
Styles
For the most part, I am talking about basic wardrobe essentials, made from some not-so-basic fabrics. These include skirts, dresses, tops, bodysuits, stockings, gloves and catsuits. There are a wide variety of other garmets and accessories available (hoods, corsets, bras, panties) but for now, I'm assuming you want to dress modestly in an exotic sort of way. In general, these fashions will be very revealing, with short hemlines and plunging necklines. For myself, I have to find styles that cover my arms and chest completly, so I always have to look a little harder and my options are limited.
And please, keep in mind as you're looking at fashion catalogs that you are not going to look like that wearing these clothes. Try not to get too caught up in the fantasy. These clothes are a lot more expensive than what you find on the racks at JC Penny's, so don't throw your money away. If you've been crossdressing and experimenting with your look for any length of time, you have a pretty good idea of what works for you. Now is not the time to start changing anything. Go with styles that you know look good on you.
As with conventional fashion, these garments come in almost all styles. Skirts and dresses are available in a variety of lengths from thigh-high to floor length. Most are a little bit tighter than more conventional fashions, but the "skater skirt" or "swing skirt" is also very popular.
Dresses and tops can be tank tops, halters, tube tops, mandarin style (my favorite), V-neck, scoop-neck or, if you can do it, deep-plunge.
There is one style you don't typically find in Macy's that is popular with fetishwear enthusiests. This is a skirt known as a hobble skirt, so named because it is ankle length and designed to be very tight, especially around the ankles. Because the long hemline is fitted tightly around the ankles, the effect is to cause the wearer to walk with short, halting steps, as if the ankles were bound. These skirts are usually designed with a full length zipper (either in the front or rear) than can be unzipped (starting at the ankles and going up) to allow freedom of movement. But when it's play time…I mean really, it's the gift that keeps on giving.
Stockings and gloves of latex and PVC are also very popular. Latex stockings can be worn with non-latex clothing to create a dramatic look. Stockings will usually include a a foot, although leggings are also available. Be warned of one thing however: you will perspire a lot in these garments. I tired on a pair of stockings and within five minutes my feet were squishing around inside them from persperation.
Colors
You can never go wrong with black. Bright red, purple and a rich blue are popular as well. Silver and gold metallic can work. Solid colors are most common, but many garments are "paneled" in combinations of these basic colors. Mesh and shear see-through panels are also very dramatic if you can get away with it (I can't).
Fabrics
There are four primary options here: spandex, leather, PVC and latex. Leather and latex tend to be the most expensive, making PVC a good price alternative. Some amount of spandex is found in many garments today, so you can't go by the fabric content alone.
At the risk of repeating myself, keep in mind that fabric content alone is not sufficient to qualify clothing as fetishwear. The style has to be a bit on the outrageous side and color matters. There's lots of respectable leather clothing available today, and forest green is not a color to wear to a fetish party. Similarly, while spandex clothing is almost always considered club wear, hot pink, lavender, baby blue and canary yellow also don't qualify as fetishwear. There is a difference between clubwear and dancewear, and fetishwear.
Spandex
Spandex made it's debut in clothing almost a half century ago, after the second world war, primarily as a way to improve ladies "foundation wear". Since then, as underwear became outerwear, just about every conceivable garment, and not just women's garments I might add, have been made with some amount of spandex blended in.
What more proof could crossdressers want that there is a god of technology who answers our prayers!
Forget about athletic wear made with spandex, or denim jeans with 5% spandex added for comfort. Let's cut right to the important stuff.
Spandex is almost always blended with some other fabric. You will typically hear terms like "nylon spandex", "satin spandex" and "cotton spandex". The first two are usually a very shiny and clingy fabric and silky to the touch. Cotten blended with spandex has more of a cloth look and feel to it, but if the spandex content is high enough these garments will be skin tight. Another popular blend is acetate and spandex.
As far as what type of style to wear there are dozens to choose from, so choose whatever looks best on you and would be the most fun to wear. Keep in mind that these garments are going to be very stretchy and very tight. Wearing too much underneath is not a good idea. Every bump, lump and seam will be visible.
And again, keep color in mind if you are thinking of attending a fetish play party or go out to an S&M club. There's more than one reason they call them "black and blue balls".
Leather
If you don't want to make a big commitment to invest in fetishwear, then a good starting point is the basic black leather skirt, about 16 inches in length. If you keep it simple enough, this will also serve as a dressier skirt in the Fall and Winter. Match it with the right top and a pair of black high heels and you're in – although you may have to pay the cover charge. Like I said, leather is pretty mainstream these days but always acceptable and appreciated among fetishwear enthusiests. You can push it a bit more by adding fishnet or seamed stockings, and by adding an extra inch to your heel hight.
There are of course many wild fashions in leather, and black is not the only color available, but the cost rises quickly . Almost any other fabric will be less expensive than leather.
One final note about leather: suede is not an acceptable substitute if you are interested in fetish attire.
Latex
Latex is not ready for prime time yet, so it is a good choice for fetishwear. Personally, I think latex is great to look at. I think it is very bold and dynamic. But at the same time, I know that many crossdressers enjoy the tactile experience of soft fabrics. As such, latex is not particularly exciting to the touch. It is, after all, rubber. While there are no doubt some who find rubber pleasant to touch, I haven't heard many crossdressers say they do so.
A few things to be aware of. Latex is not the most comfortable fabric to wear for very long. As it is rubber, it can be hot to wear and you will perspire quite a bit. Latex garments also require some serious care when it comes to washing, storing, donning and removing.
There are a lot of options and considerations when shopping for latex garments. One is the thickness of the fabric. Garments referred to as molded latex are made from a very thin material that can easily tear under pressure from a sharp fingernail or a piece of jewelry. These thinner fabrics will also tend to show more of what is underneath the garment. Dresses, skirts and tops made from light weight latex will usually have no zippers. In fact, molded latex means no seams at all. This is why molded latex garments are a little more expensive than their seamed equivalents. Sometimes little more than a tube or sheath of latex, these garments are the ones that have that "second skin" quality about them. Latex gloves and stockings are exclusivly made from this thinner material.
Garments made from a thicker latex usually have seams and zippers that are glued together, making the garment easier to put on and take off. These garments tend to mirror many of the basic fashion styles, and can be quite stylish and elaborate.
One big advantage of the heavier weight latex material is that it will conceal seams from undergarments very well, which is a big plus in my mind.
If you have ever seen photographs of latex fashions, you may have noticed the shiney finish. Not all latex comes that way. The thinner fabrics, when purchased, have a dull finish. The shine is brought out by polishing the fabric with one of a variety of products. I use Armorall, which works well, and a soft cloth.
Caring for latex garments is an art and a science. You will perspire heavily in these garments, and these natural oils have to be washed off or else they will ruin the fabric. Similarly, avoid getting any kind of oil-based fluids on latex.
Washing latex is simple: put a small amount of detergent in a sink of cool water, put the garment in, swirl it around a bit, turn it inside out and repeat, then rinse thoroughly with fresh water, inside and out. Lay the garment flat to dry, again turning it inside out at some point to dry thoroughly. Never hang these garments on hangers. Always fold them, and store them in the package they came it, keeping them flat.
PVC
As I said earlier, PVC is a good price alternative to leather and latex, and the styles can get pretty extreme. PVC was one of the original fetishwear fabrics, along with leather, but now you can find "vinyle" pants in bubble gum colors at Macy's.
The shine on PVC comes naturally: you don't have to do anything to bring it out and the fabric is easier to care for than latex.
PVC also has some stretch to it, but not quite like spandex. Although these garments will be relatively tight and clingy, they also do a good job of consealing what's underneath.
Where To Purchase
There's a pretty good chance you won't find this clothing at your friendly neighborhood shopping mall. If you live in a large city, there is most likely a store that carries fetishwear. Even so, because of the high cost and slow turnaround, you may be ordering from their catalogs anyway.
Sizes are a problem, but then again, sizes are always a problem for crossdressers. However, now the problem is componded by the fact that, often, fetish clothing comes only in sizes like Small, Medium, Large, which doesn't help. Even worse is the "one size fits all" method. Stay away from these. They are designed to fit the most common women's sizes, which is usually a 7/8 or a 9/10.
In general, a size Small would fall in the 5/6 size range, Medium is more of a 7/8 or 9/10 and Large is an 11/12 or 13/14. These are Juniors sizes, which usually run narrower through the hips, which is OK for crossdressers.
But don't forget that there is a good chance you will have to buy without trying it on first. Ask about exchanges and refunds.
Believe it or not, the Web is a gold mine for fetish fashion. Yes, It's true! Funny, you don't look surprised. Here is a list of some of my favorite web sites for fetishwear:
- located in the Capital District!
Eurodreamer is the on-line division of Regalia Fashions, which is located right here in Capital District. They have excellent prices on many items and also carry many unique creations.
Excellent prices, lot's of plus sizes and an excellent return policy!
Probably the largest web-site offering fetish fashions, and a mainstay in the fetish community.
Very sexy stuff. The Baroness is well known in the BDSM community. A wonderfull image gallery as well.
Great prices on some basic latex items.
Something different. For the Xena in all of us.
Where To Go
In the Capital District, there is one large BDSM organization that has been around for a few years now. The group is called . They meet monthly as a group for a "munch" at a local restaurant. This is the best way to meet their members, find out about activities or get invited to a party. Visit their web site for links to web sites and organizations around the country.
